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Feeling even more humiliated than I ever had, I obeyed, because I knew I had no choice. The major pressed the pen up inside my sex and it struck my hymen, as I hoped it would. I was a virgin, but not all virgins’ hymens survive intact if they’ve led active lives, and I had led an active life. Then she straddled my body again and looked down at me, with a smile. “You have been a good girl, unlike me; I’ve been a bad girl, and I’m nowhere near as innocent as you are. So, my pretty French. All my women had a habit of egging me into situations I normally would have backed away from, but this wasn't just any playfulness in the bedroom or even in a park. Sally was my first love, my first girlfriend, my first friend. She and I had gotten along when so many others would turn away. I wasn't repulsive to see, or a bad mouthed lout. It was just the typical cliques of high school, and I didn't fit in any of them. Sally had been new to the school. Her parents had moved to the small town in. But the black man was obviously in no mood to stop, and, like an a****l, would complete the sex act no matter what the sissy said or did. I wasn’t the only witness to this, a group of 5 or 6 men had gathered around the open door to watch the show. Most of them watched silently, a couple of them laughed as the queer tried to struggle from the stronger man’s grasp. The black man fucked the queer hard once he was in all the way, and the bitch stopped struggling then, but continued to whine loudly. You're a failure." I guess my subconscious started to believe it after the 10,000th or 20,000th time I heard that I was, somehow, not worthy. So I was set on a course to prove them correct.That was then. Once I understood why I did self-destructive things, the affirmation of my worthlessness lost its power over me. Even if I had done unworthy things in the past, nothing prevented me from avoiding them in the future. At least that was what I hoped. One day at a time.I looked in the full-length.
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