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.. in an apple tree ‘Cos an apple tree... ‘s got roots you seeOh you’ll never get to Heaven ... on roller skates ‘Cos you’d roll right past ... them Pearly GatesOh you’ll l never get to Heaven ... in a Playtex bra ‘Cos a Playtex bra ... won’t stretch that farOh you’ll never get to Heaven ... with a bottle of gin ‘Cos St Peter won’t let ... no spirits inOh you’ll never get to Heaven ... on water skis ‘Cos the angels don’t ... like those hairy kneesOh you’ll never get to Heaven ... with powder. .and I'm too damn scared and freaked out to lick my lips.Me and Van started drinking about three in the afternoon and seeing as itwas hot it kinda hit real hard. So we're drinkin' at his place then decidethat seeing as he's 21 in two weeks we should go to a pub to celebrate.After many ales and a few shots of bourbon him n' me are gettin' close tolegless. It was a real warm night and we were at some poxy club when Ireally spun out. I don't know what it was. I'd had one spliff earlier inthe. As I watched her, I got more and more angry with her. Why the fuck did she hate me so much? All I did was offer to help. The way she spoke to me reminded me of the way my ex-wife treated me before she finally moved away. It was pure venom from an angry, bitter woman. Well fuck her I thought. Soon she gave up and went into the house. She made some food and sat on her bed eating, reading a book. I was becoming infatuated with her. I loved to watch this woman that hated me. I can’t explain it but. "Get undressed," I said to my assistant.Caitlin became further despondent when she arrived and saw that I was naked."Do it!" I insisted.She became teary-eyed. It must have been hormonal because she'd been doing pretty good about not crying the last couple of weeks."I'll do it then," I said impatiently.She immediately pulled her shirt up. I stood back and watched. She was very aware of my stare and my smile grew bigger the more naked she became."Over here," I said.We moved to the front of my.
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